First Person Review: Poseidon

Possible spoilers ahead. Though it’s hard to tell as the following review is written, badly, in the first person.

I’m a self contained unit. I like to keep to myself, sleep with sluts, and bluff people at the poker table. I have a million dollar smile. If you’d linger on it you’d find it void of genuine warmth. The cruise ship I was on got pelted by a wave of mythical proportions. Literally, it was a mythical wave, like the Easter Bunny or the John Holmes penis I tell woman I got dangling between my legs. The ship flipped over. Stuff blew up but the ship didn’t sink, just kinda bobbed in the water like an apple. I saved everyone except the migrant kitchen worker. He died but I don’t think he had a family that loved him. I’m gonna marry this hot chick I saved. She’s got a kid. He’s fucking dense but she’s got great tits. I was in the Navy once so that’s why I saved people. The former Mayor of New York died on the ship trying to save people. His daughter will have bad dreams now. She’s getting married. The old queer man made it.

I feel this is an unresolved issue for me. While saving the people I learned that connection with other human beings can be a rewarding experience. It makes me giddy. I wish hundreds of people didn’t die but I’m a better person for it.

Post Tags: cruise ship + disaster + Film + Poseidon + review + Weblog // Subscribe // Bookmark