April 19th, 2008

If I was a Celebrity

PaparazziIf was a celebrity I think I might just go ahead and hire a photographer to follow me around for a day to snap a couple thousand photos of me in compromising and/or potentially embarrassing poses. You know, like shoving a fat, greasy Philly Cheese Steak into my mouth, scratching my ass, jamming a finger up my nose, ogling a big breasted woman as she passes me by, plenty of retarded faces and plumber’s crack shots.

You then set up a website, throw up a nifty photo gallery and be done with it. Not like it’ll prevent future photos, but unless it’s something major, a penis in the mash potatoes, you know, something along those lines, then the novelty factor isn’t there anymore - been there done that with this dude.

It’s kinda the expectation of perfection that haunts you. You’re not. So get it over with.

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photo Amos Moses Griffin
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