Lazy, Fat, Happy and WTF? That Costs 89 Dollars?
Today was a “day off” for me. That is I didn’t have to “work.” The quotation marks signify two things. One, my disgust for the words and two, my reluctance to write about my part time “job.” See another word I dislike. However you cut it though today was a free day in that I could roll around the crib naked for hours on end painting my body in Day-Glo patterns without anyone busting my chops. So what’d I’d do with the all this time? Help the poor? Nah. Read a book? Nope. Take a walk in the woods? Hell no.
I woke up at 6:30, brewed coffee, sat down in my over sized chair facing my over sized TV and fluctuated between pawing lent out of my belly button, nodding off and drooling on my shoulder, watching reruns of Law and Order and surfing the net. I’ve gotten out of my chair exactly five times in the span of nine hours. Once to kiss my wife goodbye as she left for “work,” twice for a refill of coffee, once to take a piss, and one time to grab a bowl of fruit. Six times if you count the moment my ass lifted ever so slightly off the chair so I could reach down and grab the remote that fell to the floor during one of my mini-naps.
Should I be working on my novel? Yes. Should I be sweating through my seven hundredth screenplay draft? Yes? Do I feel guilty? Usually, yes. Today, no. I’m actually quite content with my lethargy today. I wrote some weblog posts. That’s an accomplishment of the tree falling in the woods variety. I’ll hang my hat on that.
Anyway, I’ve done some web surfing and ran across this LifeClever article (via TUAW) detailing how to dress like a Mac. Feel free to grace them with your attention, they seem like nice folks, but what struck me about the post was the following picture;
My eyes ran across it quickly the first time and then snapped back to the circled number above (my doing incidentally). 89$ fucking bucks for a pair of jeans. Is this true? Apparently so. And that’s a modestly priced pair. See the one at the bottom of this post? Those are the Capital E Skinner Worn Unwashed Denim jeans and they’re yours for $158.
So here’s what runs through my head. I’m a slob more often than not and other than the occasional present on Christmas I wrap myself in bargain bin junk from the Salvation Army. Thus, I’m not really “up” on what kids wear these days. But fucking $158 dollars for a pair of jeans? Most likely stitched together by a person who doesn’t make that amount in a month. Social Politics aside, it’s an absurd amount. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could hand toss ‘em with silken threads of love and they still wouldn’t be worth more than fifty.
People can spend their money on whatever they want, crack, imported hamsters, gold, jeans, but if you’re paying $158 for a pair of frickin’ jeans you’re an idiot. Sorry, I’m a real sweet guy but you’re an idiot. Tell you what you could do. Nix the hip stores and buy a pair of jeans at K-Mart for twenty-five bucks. Then, send them, along with fifty dollars, to me. I’ll leave them outside for a month, use them as our doormat and generally abuse the shit out out them. After a month I’ll wash ‘em, twice, and send them back to you. Viola, you’ll have the same look and will have saved yourself eighty-three bucks which would mean you’d have barely enough left over to spend on a new pair of name brand socks.
Leave a comment